Lest you think I do not in my heart love the hell out of Bioware:

"Consider yourself reinstated, Commander."

Dear Bioware

When I started this blog I wanted it to be a mash up of all the things I like. I didn't want it to be one of those places that dispenses the same tired writing advice every day because the owner read somewhere that YOU MUST POST EVERY DAY TO SELL TEH BOOKZ. So I talk about food and gaming and politics and all that, as well as writing. In that spirit:

Dear Bioware. Stop jerking me the fuck around.

I recently started Mass Effect 2 and I played the hell out of both Dragon Age games. I will try not to write a freaking novel on these subjects though rest assured, I totally could. What inspires this post is the absolute gay romance fail currently polluting nearly every Bioware title, with the possible exception of DA2, if you happen to play a male Hawke. (in my opinion the lesbian options are AWFUL)

A friend and I recently got in to a huge discussion about Mass Effect and its many flaws along these lines. I honestly dropped Mass Effect 1 like it was dangerously radioactive when I ran in to Liara, a concept I hate with the fire of a thousand fiery suns. It's a thing I run in to in Mass Effect 2 as well, the whole haha aren't we clever including this reference but in reality they just end up looking like douchebags. See the NPC conversation that takes place when you meet Liara again in ME2, where a turian and a quarian are conversing nearby and he is clearly getting friend zoned. HAHA. Except the friend zone is kind of inherently a shitty concept intended to shame and punish women who don't put out even though OMG YOU SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON THEM.

But this rant is more about gay male romance in Mass Effect. Yes, I'm afraid I'm joining the fray on this one. I'll leave the stupid ass ableism and ridiculous ME3 rumors for later, though I will say it's another ZOMG WE R SO FUNNEH fail.

Here's the thing. I am sick and fucking tired of giving Bioware money only to be told gay options are going to be included later. SWTOR? No gay romance at launch, but they assure us that it is coming in an expansion. ME1? Liara is NOT a gay option. She is not even a good portrayal of a differently gendered society. She is a blatant fanservice chicks r hawt together vehicle with a thin coat of blue alien paint. So aside from whatever feeble attempt she is, there's NO gay male option in ME1.

ME2? Nope. Shit out of luck again. Jacob's abs will only be exposed for the ladies. Garrus will only put his adorably awkward moves on FemShep, and so on.

But the mention of Garrus brings me to my central point, which is: Bioware is saying that interspecies romance is more acceptable than a gay one. Don't get me wrong. I love it when aliens and humans can get together because there's so much wonderful territory to navigate as far as, hmm, how do we do this exactly? What are your cultural values versus mine? What actions and words show love and affection and why? For example, Babylon 5 had some killer scenes of this variety.

And I love Garrus. And Thane. But no one bats an eye at you crawling all over this guy. Or this one. By the way it is mentioned by the ship's doctor that you and Garrus approach incompatibly ahem, size wise, and that you are actually allergic to Thane to the point where prolonged contact makes you break out in hives.

So, snake man you are allergic to who blinks sideways and has exposed gills? AWESOME. Gay guys? EW GROSS. Even though this is SPACE and the FUTURE but apparently we're all such homophobic dickbags we can't possibly envision a society in which gay hate does not exist.

I visited the SWTOR forums recently (my first mistake) to get some more info about gay male romance in THAT game, and someone said something along the lines of them thinking romance should be optional because "a lot of kids play this game" and "I don't even want to see same sex options, even if I don't take them."

To think that Bioware would pander to this kind of homophobic asshole burns me, especially since he's holding up the poor delicate children argument. And yes, that is absolutely homophobic, that attitude. The whole I don't even want to look at it, even if it doesn't impact me in any way mentality. The whole children will somehow be forever damaged by seeing people in love kiss each other hate mongering nonsense.

Here's a hint, Bioware. The controversy helps you sell games. Take a risk. You did so well, in my opinion, with Fenris and Anders in DA2. (Zevran is the worst character ever and I don't even want to talk about it) I know you can do it. Stop jerking me around. It feels like you're just asking me to open my big queer wallet on the faint HOPE that I might one day see the kind of romance I want, without delivering shit that's tangible. It feels exploitative and I hope to god you fix this in Mass Effect 3 and you get off your asses and incorporate it in to SWTOR, or my love affair with you (a love affair which has been deep and layered and abiding) will finally start to cool off and die.

Review of Shell Shocked

Shell Shocked by Angelia Sparrow

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Thank goodness for an inspirational romance that is not Christian. It's refreshing to see a tale that relies on the power of Pagan spirituality for once.

The romance was overall gripping. I loved both characters. I know it's a cliche to say this, but I couldn't put it down. Both Gabe and Sean were well written and likable (for the most part, but I'll get to that later). Even the whirlwind aspect of their love didn't seem forced or cheap. I could easily see why they would bond that quickly.

Part of their connection with one another is that they are both disabled. I have to give major kudos to the author for choosing disabilities that are hard to sexify. That is, there is a tendency for people to give their characters only the aspects of a particular problem that seem attractive (dark, brooding, just enough of a guilty past to be interesting but not enough to actually make the love interest question their decision as to whether they should be with this person) and to gloss over the rest. Not here. Gabe had both legs amputated and Sean has a nasty case of PTSD, plus bad knees and other physical complaints. I am so happy to see a book with disabled main characters having a sexual relationship, I can't even tell you.

Now, here are some of the things I found disappointing. Sean always being on top is a thing that's brought up in the book more than once. Basically, he's reluctant to be penetrated because of lingering issues with his sexuality and the fear of the unknown. A lot of build up is put in to whether Gabe will ever top. Then that moment comes...and the author doesn't show it! How insanely frustrating.

Phone sex is just as awkward on the page as it is in real life. Seriously.

At one point, Sean and Gabe get in a huge fight. Words are said. You know the kind. Words. One example: Gabe is not the character's legal name. It's one he chose himself. Sean happens to know Gabe's legal name and he busts it out in the most invalidating way possible. As someone who also chose their name, man, did that sting. Marriages have ended for less. And yet, there doesn't seem to be as much fallout from this fight as I would have expected. It's a verbally abusive altercation, and since whether or not Sean is abusing Gabe comes up a couple of times, I thought this should have been handled with more detail.

Overall, a great read. I very much enjoyed it.



View all my reviews

SWTOR vs WoW

I played World of Warcraft for about five and a half years. I started about a month before The Burning Crusade came out and quit shortly after Cataclysm. I've been playing Star Wars: the Old Republic MMO since early access, roughly five days ago.

Here is my obligatory comparison post, brought on by the idiots that sadly populate the WoW forums.

World of Warcraft

There was a time when World of Warcraft felt like a great game. The Burning Crusade offered gripping storylines and a raid that remains one of my favorites (Karazhan) to this day. This still gives me chills and likely always will. At Blizzcon '09, while I was standing in line to beta Cataclysm, this played on the giant screen right over my head. I won't ever forget that moment.

I ran a heavy roleplay guild that raided on the side. That guild lasted the entire time I was in WoW, crossed several servers, and went through more than one shake up where people quit/joined. I am still proud of what we did. Despite being a bunch of roleplayers we managed to clear a decent amount of content and ran some truly epic and long ranging stories.

But I started to notice around Cata that the roleplay was what really made me stick to the game, and the roleplay was largely my creation and the creation of those guild mates who participated in my storylines. We discarded quite a bit of official lore because, frankly, it's largely awful. There are a couple of contributors to the canon who have never grown as storytellers, and often times too many cooks in the kitchen, and it more than shows. The emotional tone is uneven and often rings false, and while I thought both the Worgen and Goblin starting areas had flashes of brilliance, it was too little too late as far as I was concerned.

The other problem I had with WoW was that you basically had to rely on a huge group of other people to get anything done. If you want to raid (which I do) you pretty much had to pull in strangers to fill out your group unless your guild focused only on raiding and nothing else, and attracted members on that basis. This more than anything is what killed WoW for me. You try running with a bunch of people for months only to have them drop your raid and leave you high and dry, when you're more than half done and have put a ridiculous amount of work in to getting there.

So, it all left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth. At the same time I mourned the loss because WoW had been, at one time, incredibly important to me. It kept me grounded through very difficult times in my life and introduced me to several friends I still have to this day. It helped form the basis for a lot of my fiction since I often tested out the base elements of plots on my players before polishing them up for a book.

Basically, I wanted to fall in love with an MMO again.

SWTOR is that MMO. (visual issues re: the UI aside)

WoW and its issues
One thing that always annoyed the piss out of me about WoW is that it clearly did not care for its RPers. Blizz fell all over themselves to stroke PVPer peen, followed by raiders, and left the RPers in the dust. Decisions were often made, story wise, solely from a class balance stand point and then shoe horned clumsily in to the lore if they bothered at all. It messes with immersion at a certain point and makes it hard for people to engage with the game, even on RP servers.

Every. Single. Quest. in WoW goes like this: Bring me six wolf pelts. Great, now bring me six dire wolf teeth. Repeat. Repeat. Okay, maybe not every last quest but believe me, it sure feels like it after awhile. Slog through the text pop up only to be told that for some reason, they need you to go fetch seven vials of kobold urine or whatever. Do you know what that is? A fucking grind. Take in to consideration that you must also locate the quest giver for this pointless murdering/gathering, but you must then return to him to present your trinkets. This doesn't sound like much but if you're doing twenty, thirty quests in a play session that time adds up.

Then there's the daily quest. Do the EXACT SAME grindy bullshit every day. And if you want to raid? This is not optional. The curve in Cata was so steep you had to farm emblems in order to even get in to some heroics, let alone raids. BAD. NO BISCUIT. The grind is one of the worst parts and the Skinner Box might captivate for awhile but eventually you just want to kill yourself and everyone around you. If I wanted unending tedium I'd work in an office. And they'd pay me. I wouldn't pay them fifteen dollars a month for the privilege.

SWTOR and why it's awesome

IT IS AN RPG MMO. Full stop. The end. In a way that says it all for me. Bioware is also responsible for Dragon Age, by the way, and I think that is a nearly perfect RPG experience. I had tentative hopes because of that performance and Bioware brought the things that really worked from their single player titles to this MMO effort. For example, everything is voiced. This alone is incredible. It immerses a player like never before. There's no stupid parchment pop up to read. There are also missions where your group can play together, and every character is given an opportunity to respond to NPC prompts. For me that immediately made me bond with the other characters. Brilliant.

There's a story. It's not about grinding your way to raid level as quickly as fucking possible. I am so sick of people taking MMOs too seriously. By that I don't mean, please show up to my raid unprepared because YOU'RE JUST HAVING FUN, GOD STOP BEING SO MEAN or, please come act like a dickwad and make us all waste our time because IT'S JUST A GAME, U GUYZ. But I do mean that maybe there are reasons to play an MMO other than throwing the KEWLEST LIGHTNINGZ. People on the WoW forums were complaining that leveling is slow, and what they're really saying is HOW WILL I MEASURE MY VIRTUAL DICK WITH YOURS IF I CAN'T RIDE THE PURPLE TRAIN AND OUTFIT MYSELF IN EPICS IMMEDIATELY.

Now me, I played for the first ten levels at least without even looking at my level bar. I was completely engrossed. It was so enjoyable I lost a whole day to it. It reminded me of how I would sit down to play DA:O, intending to play for an hour or two, and I'd actually play for eleven hours, easy. I can't tell you how much I have been enjoying an MMO that doesn't constantly make me feel inferior for not going on a joyless grind like it's a job for days at a time. The choices your character makes matter to the story. It's great, okay? It's great.

My only complaint thus far is that stuns last an absurdly long time. I won't mention the little bugs here and there because at this point they're totally allowed to have some kinks they've yet to iron out. The only other annoyance is that they've made lightsaber crystals so dependent on faction that if you get Light side points as a Sith you lose your weapon. That's silly to me.

I hope to god Bioware sticks to what it's genius at and keeps the MMO going forward in this fashion. The second they start trying to cater to PVPers and number monkeys, it's doomed.

Some good news and a book release (not mine...YET)

Hey guys! Supremely talented author Vivien Weaver has a debut novel coming out early next year.

Here's the blurb:

Cary and Lindsay Delaney have always known they were special. Warriors for God, their father said, meant to bring about the Rapture, and every moment in their family’s isolated Ozarks compound was spent preparing for that day. Cary’s paraplegic injury put an end to that dream, however, and the brothers, now estranged from the father who once exalted them, find a different kind of magic in the streets of Springfield, Missouri.

Dubiously blessed with the title prince and heirs to powerful táltos magic, the brothers find themselves embroiled in a struggle for the health of the World Tree, the structure that supports not only their world, but every world. The Tree is rotting, and it’s only a matter of time before the corruption reaches its heart. Can Cary and Lindsay make their own way despite those who would use them for their own ends?

A coming of age urban fantasy with a twist, The Wicked Instead combines the voice of a redneck haint tale with an unerring modern sensibility and sensitivity. As much about struggling to survive and the bonds forged between unlikely friends as it is about fantasy, The Wicked Instead will change the way you think about the genre.

Some fresh urban fantasy? Aaaaaw yeeeah.

RIP and Occupy Seattle

"You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

--Steve Jobs

Remember that one, people. RIP.

So last night Viv and I went down to Occupy Seattle to donate some food. We were only vessels for the generosity of several local businesses, including PCC Natural Markets, Cupcake Royale, and Stockbox Grocers. Each and every one of these businesses is doing something worth checking out, from PCC's commitment to non-GMO foods to the Stockbox folks trying to combat food deserts. (Viv and I are lucky enough to have Stockbox in our backyard)

If local businesses, often struggling in this economy as the smallest fraction of our society grabs the biggest share of wealth, can offer some of what they do have for people trying to make a difference, it seems to me the folks with a shameful amount of wealth and power should be able to do that much more. There are a lot of wonderful and complex economic and political arguments out there, but to me it's an issue of the human spirit. Are we the kind of people who allow someone's house to burn to the ground because he failed to pay the fire service fee? Or are we the kind of people who come together and understand that ..."part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."

None of you should be surprised that I support the latter sentiment.

When I was in a very low place, my best friend and his family took me in to their home. I had nothing. No money. No job. No way to directly contribute. When I asked what I could possibly do to repay him, he said three words: pay it forward. That's what we all need to do. I believe we are a social, collaborative species at heart and we've succeeded so well thus far because we have worked out all of these little ways of getting along and sharing resources. The current political climate is a direct threat to that. Dog eat dog diminishes us all.

A somewhat disjointed update

Oh my god you guys, my storyboard makes no sense from one draft to the next.

I am a pantser. I think I am almost incapable of planning in a linear fashion to the point where I can do a this then that outline. I love the storyboard because it lets me give some shape to my thoughts, but note to self: if you forget to move the pieces around as you revise, you sit there saying the hell was I thinking? every ten seconds.

Anyway. I've been quiet here because I have an exciting project going on in the background. Hopefully I can tell you all what it is soon. Suffice to say it is a lot of work, especially on top of grad school, though I am still pulling my weight in terms of grades. It's an accelerated program so it's whiplash inducing, but I'm learning plenty.

The apartment is nice and painted. Mulberry, chili pepper red, teal, and bright yellow. All that is left is my room, which will be leaf green. Speaking of colors and art, my cover design should be finalized sometime soon. I am so excited. The artist is very talented and his work fits my story perfectly. I can't wait to show that off, too!

Oh, and I've recently discovered Get Glue, which is an insane time waster. Still, they have 30 Seconds to Mars stickers so I am helpless before its dark power. If you're on there, come find me!