Narcissus in Chains Chapter Twenty

They go back to Anita's house to collect the wererats. She says she has no nearby neighbors. Can someone from St. Louis tell me if this is feasible at all? I assume it isn't really.

Oh this is rich. This is all J.C.'s fault now. Yeah, okay. I am operating on the notion that he truly didn't know the ardeur would infect her, because I don't think LKH is clever enough as a writer to give him ulterior motives. So, after he told Anita repeatedly that he didn't  know what would happen when they married the marks, she did it anyway. Now she doesn't like the consequences, so time to call J.C. a monster and put it all on him, even though even she acknowledges in the text that J.C. didn't know what would happen.

I am sick to death of her throwing the word monster around. That could easily be this world's equivalent of a racial slur, yet she has no problem constantly and blithely insulting everyone around her every time she wangsts on about being a monster. Oh my god, how horrible. Clearly you will become a waste of sociopathic space, the way all your allies are. Oh, wait. Honestly, I don't even know why Anita still has allies. It's only word of god that makes it so, because if this world had realistic consequences she'd be out on her ass with absolutely everyone.

Anita then shows jarring self insight by realizing that she doesn't see Nate as a person, but rather as a project or an object to be rescued. I am so conflicted. On the one hand her mentality is awful, but on the other hand she's actually being realistic about herself for once. These moments are like the death throes of LKH's psyche. At one time, she could have honed her talents and made this series a wonderful thing, but success came too quickly and lead her down the wrong path.

She natters on about how she hopes she and Nate didn't actually have sex. She is the most naive character on the face of the planet. She is what, in her thirties? She's been through public school sex ed, presumably. While it's not always great, surely she retained enough to realize that oral sex is sex? Failing that, she's actually had sex before. And I know I am harping on this but, she hasn't had a restrictive religious upbringing. She hasn't (as far as LKH is concerned) been raped or molested. She doesn't have a mental illness that might be a barrier to sex, and her sexuality has never been portrayed as asexual. There is zero reason for her to be such a fucking child about all of this, which is especially delicious considering she's constantly infantilizing Nate.

She keeps comparing Nate to a child and hoping she can find some loophole that will allow her to keep claiming she hasn't had sex with him, because otherwise it is like she molested him. So does Anita think oral sex on a child is just fine? That it isn't sex and therefore won't scar a person for life? Anita is a judgmental, shallow, despicable, prudish shell of a human being.

The wahmbulance arrives and Anita merrily drives it hell bent for leather down the twisting back alleys of her stupid, ignorant brain. She doesn't want to feed off others because I'm supposed to believe she gives a single shit about the welfare of people who aren't her or directly stroking her mind peen.

Nate assures her she can feed from him and that he doesn't consider what they did to be "real sex." How convenient. Anita is a stubborn asshole about feeding the ardeur despite being told twice now that if she feeds as soon as she realizes she needs to, she can keep some measure of control. I thought this fool loved control, but now she's planning on ignoring it until she absolutely must pay attention? How goddamn ridiculous can this character become?

"I have to be who I am, and who I am just doesn't give in to anyone, or anything."

This sounds like a virtuous kick ass thing to say, but really it just makes her dumb and unpleasant. Everyone needs to give in sometimes. Everyone. If you fight everything just for the sake of fighting, all you will do is make yourself sick and friendless. If a character never shows a soft side, well, I find that boring and one dimensional besides.

Nathaniel keeps trying to deflect Anita's questions because he's afraid she'll get mad at him for the answers. It terrifies me that LKH can consistently write abusive situations without ever once realizing that they are in fact abusive situations. He assures her that he's trying to be more independent not just for her, but for himself too.

I have to stop here and ask a serious question: why is independence so great? Yes, a person should be self assured and they should understand their inherent worth, but does everyone really thrive this way? I know it's a very American virtue to be a one man army or island, but not everyone is meant to lead from the front. It disgusts me how Anita constantly denigrates and devalues Nate simply because he wants to occupy a submissive role in life.

LKH once again pads her word count with mind numbing details like the fact that Anita's Jeep makes a beeping sound when she locks it.

Cherry is there and is obviously frightened when she has to tell Anita she went ahead and let everyone come inside the house. She's so relieved that Anita isn't angry about it that she drops to her knees and rubs her face on Anita's hand.

Anita natters about how she didn't realize so many people would show up. So I guess she doesn't even know how many wererats there are? What a wonderful leader she is.

The other leopards start quizzing Nate about why he's covered in bite wounds. Honestly, who gives a fuck. Jesus this is boring. We're still not at the lupanar, by the way.

Anita wants to lie about how she bit Nate because it makes Nate sound like a slut. No shit. Those are the words used. Suddenly Anita remembers Gregory because it's convenient for her to do so. She appeals to the leopards by saying they need to go rescue him, so they don't have time to natter about Nate being a slut.

It comes out that the pard voted, and they have to approve all of Nathaniel's girlfriends before he can go ahead. This is too restrictive, I think, but I get their logic. Or I DID, right until they said it's because Nate nearly got Anita killed again. No, Elizabeth nearly got Anita killed again. Actually, Anita nearly got Anita killed again, because she's a fucking idiot and assigned an insubordinate leopard to watching over her most vulnerable pard member. Look, either Nate is capable of making decisions or he's not. If he's not, you can't lay blame on him like this. The blame is on his handler or his master.

Oh, here comes Elizabeth who is a baddy bad bad. Know how I can tell?

"Her walk was always a cross between a strut and a glide, the ultimate hooker's walk." 

She is a dirty, dirty whore and therefore deserves to be punished by the almighty virginal Anita Blake.

As is the custom around these parts, Anita informs us that Elizabeth has brunette hair, but it is but a pale imitation of Anita's beautiful black locks. She is also dressed as scantily as possible, just so we're sure she's a worthless slut. Caleb,, the wereleopard version of Jason, is with her so you're extra special ultra sure that they both suck. Caleb is dressed like a disco reject who got bounced from the club after doing too much coke in the bathroom.

Elizabeth does the bad girl simper insult that's so cliche it's actively killing my brain cells. Turns out Anita killed Gabriel, who happened to be Elizabeth's mate. I think he was also a horrible rapist torturer, though, so forgive me for not sympathizing with Elizabeth. Anita is such a shitty leader that she's now in a position where she has to kill Liz for insubordination just to keep her position in a pard she doesn't want to be responsible for in the first place.

Thank god Merle shows up, because he's seriously the only good character in this whole mess. He's towing someone named Gina along with him, who probably won't be at all important later.

Oh shit, here come Vivian, one of the only people of color in the pard despite them being fucking wereleopards. Let's see how insulting the next few lines are going to be:

"She was one of the few women who made me feel protective and think of adjectives like doll-like and delicate. She was simply one of the most beautiful I'd ever seen, and the casual shorts and striped tank top with sandals couldn't hide that. She was African-American by way of Ireland, and her skin was that flawless pale cocoa shade you only get with that particular mixture."

So far the only women of color in this thing are Meng Die and Vivian, both of whom are described in objectifying, exoticizing terms. I have no problem with Vivien being mixed, either, but if all your mixed characters essentially look white with a few 'exotic' touches, you're fucking it up. Jesus, while we're at it could we find a way to describe a person of color without resorting to food? Then again everything in this book is food related. Anita needs to eat.

Also I know this is tiny compared to the gobs of racism, but how does a casual outfit detract from one's attractiveness, exactly?

Everyone is still way too preoccupied with who Nate slept with, up to the point where the other leopards start sniffing his crotch. What is this fuckery. Send help.

Because they don't "smell pussy" on Nate's dick or mouth, they conclude that he probably didn't have sex. Do I need to explain how fucked up this is? What a brilliant piece of queer erasure it is? I could deconstruct this book for academic credit in gender studies, and I am not even kidding.

Question: if the bites were going to cause this much drama why didn't he just shift and heal them?

Anita goes on and fucking on about being a sociopath again. Christ, she likes to throw that word around. It's not something to be used lightly.

"Did you do your ulfric and your master last night? Is that why Nathaniel doesn't smell like pussy, because there wasn't a hole left for him?"

It's really rich that all of these sexually free naked all the time leopards are being such slut shamers. I hate this book and everyone in it. Except you, Merle. Don't ever change.

Elizabeth is hand puppet evil again.

"I looked at her, and I let the darkness fill my eyes that was my own version of a beast." 

Anita sounds like a fifteen year old that has just discovered Goth and loves Vampire Weekend. Do kids still do goth these days? Am I just that old?

Elizabeth seriously says "you should be afraid Anita, very afraid." 

And then what? Then I laughed myself sick, is what.

Here comes pretty delicate Micah, WHO DON'T WORRY, STILL EMBODIES TRADITIONAL CIS MASCULINITY PHEW GLAD YOU REASSURED ME.

Random minor wereleopards are introduced. Anita describes herself as defending Nate's honor, because god knows there weren't enough Madonna/whore references in this god forsaken book already.

Now Nathaniel has to show Micah his bite marks. Oh my lord they're just bite marks. Who hasn't gotten a bite mark or two in the course of sex? At least if you're in to that. I think I am supposed to understand that biting someone has a certain significance in wereleopard culture but because LKH is a bad writer I am not really sure.

Anita thinks the leopards are afraid of Micah, because goddamit that is how good little objects should relate to their owners. She pouts that they're not as afraid of her.

Oh, I see. This is another excuse to make Anita strip, on the hood of a car this time.

"Be afraid, Elizabeth. Be very afraid."

These references are not cute.

Oh jesus, this chapter is so long. I need an adult. Send coffee and brownies. I might not make it.

Elizabeth punches Anita for some reason and Micah thinks just after is the perfect time to kiss her.  She finally says "grow hard" to refer to an erection, which is the dirtiest she's gotten this whole book. I am working on a sex scene right now and I swear, I am going to make that thing the nastiest, raunchiest scene I've ever done, just as a palette cleanser.

Anita and Micah both want to drink each other. Talk about a silly overdone metaphor.

How did we go from Anita being punched in the face to heavy petting on the hood of the car? Also it's a Jeep. Does a Jeep even have a hood you could roll around on?

Micah and Anita are teh mated pairz. Sometimes I kinda love this sort of thing, but the way this is executed makes it creepy. It takes away their free will. I'd rather it just predisposed them to fancy each other, rather than forcing it on them.

She finally remembers she has to deal with Elizabeth and goes to get her gun out of the car. She has lead bullets because that works on fairies for some reason. Um? I'm no expert on lead. Is there iron in it or something? Because it's iron that usually works on fairies.

Anita puts a couple of bullets in to Liz's chest. I'd think even as a wereanimal that would kill you instantly. You still have to have the time to shift, and you aren't going to manage it in seconds. Anita realizes Liz wants to die, to go be with Gabriel. Ouch.

"I'd tried kindness. I'd tried friendship. I'd tried respect. But when all else fails, fear will do the job."

Except I've never been shown any evidence to prove that Anita has tried anything other than being a shitty, abusive leader. I'm just supposed to believe this, despite my doubts that Anita even knows what friendship and respect are.

Everyone licks Anita's asshole about how scary and wonderful she is and I barely contain the urge to puke. Turns out the swans are coming too because Anita doesn't have enough mouths polishing her badass pole. Her and Micah walk towards the house and she's hoping she won't fail the leopards, despite never demonstrating the slightest concern for their well being.

Narcissus in Chains Chapter Nineteen

Chelsea is sporking Seduced by Moonlight here 

Dottie's break down is here

Oh yes. Here we go again.

Anita is naked--she wasn't before?--and I am supposed to find this naughty. These books are so tame. Give me a hook suspension or a bloody whipping with a horse whip and then we can talk. Give me a nasty gangbang where Anita takes like twenty dicks. Then maybe I'll think it's approaching dirty. This is just like those vanilla people who buy bondage 101 kits that include a feather and a blind fold. Or people who think covering each other in whip cream is the height of kink. Maybe I'm just a depraved pervert, but this shit is boring and insipid.

Anita realizes she tore a piece of skin off of Jason's neck, and runs to the bathroom to throw up. This I can actually empathize with. It reminds me of what is commonly known as top drop, the exhaustion and yes, guilt, that often comes when the scene is over and you realize how much you enjoyed tormenting your partner. Tops/dominants often need a kind of after care themselves, to work through their shame, so they can figure out that consensual 'violence' isn't the same as nonconsensual violence.

J.C. asks if he can come in. Again, he's the best person in a world with shockingly low standards. Out of all of them, he's the only one that bothers to ask what Anita wants or whether he can intrude on her space. He then goes on to ask if she needs anything, and fetches her aspirin and a toothbrush.

There's a legit adorable moment where J.C., in his fancy poncy ass robe, bustles around the bathroom getting Anita's things. He even gives her a choice of different toothpastes. Come on, that's fucking cute.

J.C. helps her talk through her feelings about everything that just happened. He cautions her not to dismiss Nathaniel so readily. Anita responds to this kindness by being a snippy asshole:

..."I want a little comfort from someone right now, and I guess you're it." 

Anita is all tangled up over enjoying being bitten. This is book ten. How can she be such a blushing virgin about stuff like this? You'd think sheer immersion in the kink subculture would erode her embarrassment eventually. Certainly before book ten.

"If my morals hadn't gotten in the way, I could have just marveled at the whole thing."

So basically, if you enjoy pain you're an amoral whore.

They talk about how Anita might gain an animal to call, thanks to the vampire marks making her vampiric enough to justify this new power. I LOVE the animal to call idea. If there was one concept I could steal from LKH, it would be this. But Anita does not need any more powers. What gets me the most about her suite of powers is that she never uses them effectively. What's the point of powering her up all the time if she just sits there passively book after book?

She claims she doesn't want to have sex with Nathaniel, when she already had sex with Nathaniel. I find it so outdated and silly to only consider penis in vagina sex as valid sex. Queer people might as well not exist in her world. Hell, even straight people who practice different types of outercourse don't exist either. Her mind is so fucking narrow and the worst part is, I don't understand why. Her Christianity has never been portrayed as the fundamentalist type, and she hasn't had any experiences that should, in my opinion, twist her perceptions to this extreme. If LKH were a better writer, she'd add something like escaping from the Quiverfull movement or her parents being in the FLDS. I would eat that up. But no. It's just bullshit superficial Madonna/whore nonsense.

J.C. does a fairly decent job of describing dominance and submission, though he's not exactly using it in that specific context:

"True power comes when others offer it to you and you merely accept it as a gift, not the spoils of some personal war."

We learn via infodump that Asher doesn't have an animal to call. Anita has a moment of self insight:

"Maybe I was growing up at last. Not every thought that came in to my head had to come out of my mouth." 

This seems like a good thing, but I'm going to argue that it's not. A character can certainly have moments of insight like this, but whether or not one is a grown up by necessity involves the opinions of others. That is to say, you can only self evaluate so much. If people around you are telling you you're hurting their feelings, you calling yourself compassionate is certainly going to fall flat.

J.C. says maybe Anita just wants Nathaniel. For some reason this pisses Anita off hardcore. She is such a shit to and about Nathaniel. I hate it. Just because he's ultra submissive and has been through some shit in his life doesn't mean she has the right to infantilize and trivialize his existence.

J.C. points out that what they all just did qualifies as sex, and thusly she's already had sex with Nathaniel.

Anita acts like a goddamn idiot, asking J.C. if he's really really sure it was sex. For some reason this makes her unhappy and scared. WHY? I mean yes, we could go with the raped by Micah thing, but obviously LKH is not operating under that assumption since she clearly didn't intend for that to be an in canon rape.

J.C. wins more points by saying:

"I am glad you are the woman you are, but there are moments when I wish that you could simply enjoy something without being chased around the room by your guilt and your morals afterwards. What we did tonight is a glorious thing, A thing to be shared and treasured, not something to be ashamed of." 

What if you had a friend who was constantly saying shit like, I don't want to be on medication because that would make me weak? Or, I can't go on welfare because I don't want to sponge off the government. And the whole time, you're sitting there, on medication and welfare, hearing a person you care about denigrate those very same things. That must be what it's like to be around Anita. She's careless and callous, nattering on about the horror of being a "monster" when everyone around her is a monster. She's a self centered, self absorbed, repressed asshole and I hate her. She's abusive. She constantly manipulates and uses people who are dependent on her. And you know what? It doesn't matter if she's doing it on purpose or not. The wound is the same, whether it came from friendly fire or from enemy fire.

To quote Mercedes Lackey, "friendly fire isn't."

More info dumping about how Jason filled Richard's place in the triumvirate and I don't give a fuck because this is so without craft I just can't.

J.C. tells her that even though she's fed the ardeur, it will always lurk just below the surface.

"Like being full but still admiring a beautifully made dessert." 

Anita doesn't like this analogy. Why the fuck not? She just hates everything and I hate her.

Useless nattering about Belle Morte and her powers. More shit about animals to call. Anita of course is the only person in two thousand years to cast Belle Morte out and defy her.

Finally, something emerges from the mire that is LKH's writing. Anita says she realizes she could have hurt Jason much worse than she did. This is another indication to me that she turns in her first drafts, because she's working through things on the page. Hence, all the revelations and explanations are in the wrong place, towards the end.

J.C. informs her that she needs to reward her pomme de sangs for their service. She suggests money and he tells her she's an ungrateful, insulting jerk, which she totally is. Also, how can she be this ignorant about vampire culture in book ten? How is she so incompetent?

J.C. then suggests she keep a pomme de sang near her for the next little while. Sage advice. He suggest Nathaniel but Anita doesn't want to. Why not?

"It would be like child molesting. He can't say no. If a person can't say no, then it's the same as rape."

So basically, Anita is acknowledging that she's both a child molester and a rapist SINCE SHE'S ALREADY HAD SEX WITH NATHANIEL TWICE. It's like someone told LKH her books suck on the consent front but she only took the bare basics to heart. She's sitting there going, I guess I better shoehorn in some of this weird consent thing I've heard about so all the jealous hater babies realize how wrong they are about me writing rape all the time.

Also Anita? It IS rape. It's not the same as rape. It is rape. You moron.

Even J.C. tells her she's being a condescending dehumanizing ass in regards to Nathaniel. Seriously, just because be desires a 24/7 slave relationship doesn't mean he's defective or incapable of knowing what he wants.

J.C. is jealous of Micah. My rage gland is empty and swollen. I've been forced to accept that no one in this book will refer to it or treat it as rape.

Anita has said some variation on what do you mean/what is this that supposed to mean like five times now, and J.C. has to explain everything to her like she's just suffered a traumatic brain injury. There is nothing good about Anita. She's a bigoted, closeted, repressed, stupid, incompetent waste of life.

J.C. and Anita are so concerned about Asher's dick, it's pathetic.

The only real sex is heterosexual, factory installed penis in vagina sex, and the only worth a man has is whether his dick gets erect. I have never, ever run across a piece of fiction where the author so clearly has this much gender baggage. Women, men, AND intersex people get the short end constantly. It is a pile of gender essentialist vomit. I am sitting her in awe of the shit spewing from LKH's keyboard.

They discuss the ardeur some more. I actually like the idea of the ardeur. I like the idea that being compelled to have sex is not a good thing. I like the idea that it can be used to control people. Interesting stuff. Too bad it's just a magical rape STD.

J.C. describes some of Belle Morte's activities thusly:

"She helped a marquis seduce a king and changed trade routes and alliances of three countries."

So why in the hell are all the vampires around Anita such ineffective idiots? Because LKH keeps reaching for concepts she can't handle. Some part of her must know it, which is why all the interesting stuff that could be a plot gets shoved in to her stupid epilogues.

J.C. explains the threeway he had with Asher and Julianna. He says that since Julianna was a human servant, she had no ability to consent, that instead Asher was the one who made decisions for her. Anita is enough of a hypocrite as to express distaste over this.

He talks about another vampire who has a dick so big, I shit you not, it is like a horse's dick. LKH takes herself way too seriously, because if she just owned the fact that everyone and everything in this world is straight out of a carnival on magic mushrooms it would be a fucking brilliant series. But no. I'm meant to swallow this--see what I did there?--whole.

J.C. says something very poignant about falling for Anita because he knew she was self sufficient. He has a lot of guilt for failing to save Julianna, and it makes sense that he would gravitate towards a lover who seems capable. But in my eyes Anita never seems capable, so once again I'm just being told she is so.
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Anita waffles between sounding like a Ren Faire reject and a Valley girl. It's disconcerting and terrible characterization.

"You are simultaneously one of the most direct women I know, and one of the most self-deluding." 

Even LKH knows, somewhere in her subconcious, that she's a terrible writer and her main character is an inconsistent fool. I feel bad for her. She's dug herself a hole so deep she'll probably never climb out of it.

J.C. gives Anita a list of acceptable pomme de sangs (obviously that's not how you pluralize french, but the book does it that way) that won't make him jealous. I think this is good, actually, because this is a fairly common thing in polyamory. Discussing these things in the open is a basic skill if you want to do an open relationship properly.

"Please don't tell me I'm going to turn in to a slut-girl."

"You are stronger willed than that."

The messages in these books are disgusting. 

Damian is mentioned. He's Anita's vampire servant--or has that happened yet?--because people in this world are simply dolls that Anita collects, soulless, beady eyes and all.

A bunch of fucking nattering about vampire bullshit.

I know that J.C. raped her a couple of books ago, though I didn't read that for myself, but I'm starting to think that nowadays he's the one being abused. Everything he says centers around Anita being unpredictable. Unpredictability is one of the cornerstones of abuse. He walks on eggshells around her, because he can never guess when she'll fly in to a rage next. His whole existence is about placating her.

J.C. has kept Damian trapped in a coffin for the past six months and Anita is enraged even though her own pigheadedness is to blame. J.C. gives her a lot of perfectly good reasons for doing it, but Anita desperately wants to blame someone other than herself,  because she's a narcissistic fleshbag crammed full of hate and bile.

Turns out that when Damian went crazy, he murdered two innocents. But will Anita put on her executioner hat and kill him in return? Of course not, because the law she claims to love doesn't apply to her vampires.

Oh, Anita is guilty now. She also denigrates witchcraft because she's a monotheist. Christian witches exist, you close minded waste.

Apparently god keeps telling her she isn't evil. Okay then. This isn't Old Testament times where Anita could potentially get away with some of this shit. Can any of you picture Jesus signing the dotted line and condoning rape and murder? I sure can't.

We're told she prays a lot, despite that never, to my knowledge, being depicted on screen. God isn't a real being to Anita. He's an imaginary friend she's made in her own image, whose only purpose is to give the thumbs up to whatever depraved shit Anita gets up to. I'm not a Christian but I am a polytheist, and even I am offended by this. God(s) is/are not there to lick your asshole.

Anita has a religious moment and claims she's learned a lesson.

Narcissus in Chains Chapter Eighteen

Only now, in chapter eighteen, does Anita reveal why the hell she's been acting so batshit crazy.

"Control was the heart of who I thought I was." 

This is an excellent line, if a little too on point and obvious. We know what Anita's self concept is and why she's reacting so negatively to what's happening to her. I find the "thought" modifier particularly quite effective, because who she thinks she is and who she actually is, is implied to be different.

She decides she isn't going to have a naughty five? way, but her vajayjay is still trying to make all of her decisions. She is once again just a container for everyone else's powers. Richard's beast, J.C.'s hunger, and god knows what else. I want to see her accept these things and start working with them instead of against them. I think what she's going through now would be acceptable as a character arc if this were still books 1-3, but this is book 10. Because of that it feels repetitive and inauthentic.

Also I can understand that she might not want to have her sexual choices dictated to her by some random supernatural power, but all she needs to do is compare and contrast her current feelings to the ones she had before the ardeur. Did she desire these men before? Then great, go for it. The ardeur just becomes an exciting spice then, instead of a magical rape beam.

J.C. comes over and Anita tries to reject his advances. He says

"Ma petite, I would change this if I could, but I cannot. We must make the best of what is given us."

I completely agree with this. That doesn't mean she has to have sex with just anyone, J.C. included, but the circumstances of her situation limit her options. When we write stories, we need to create tension. Presenting characters with very limited options is one way to do that, because the reader starts wondering how they're going to make the best of the situation. Anita shouldn't expect to have all choices available to her at all times. She could still take control of this, though, by choosing her lovers freely.

She sees Belle Morte through J.C. and her eyes shift to look like Belle Morte's. I know that's kind of silly BUT I LOVE MAGICAL EYES, so there.

J.C. and Asher both freak out and get off the bed. Even Belle Morte's presence controls Anita, drawing her beast out. For all that Anita loves control she never does a single thing to take control. Things just happen to her. She is constantly being torn apart, as if all of these powers are rabid dogs fighting over a chew toy. She's as passive as a toy. She talks a big game but ultimately she's a weak, pathetic pawn.

Belle Morte essentially metaphysically molests her, touching Anita against Anita's will. She makes the ardeur rise again and Anita uses another troubling food metaphor:

"It was like being covered in pure lust, rolled in it, like flour on a piece of meat before you cook it." 

I might very well be biased against that because I have trouble thinking of anything more disgusting than food and sex together. (even though the ms I am working on has a bakery themed brothel in it).

All Anita can see is the light of Belle Morte's eyes, or I assume it's Belle's eyes. People start to touch and fondle her but she can't tell who they are. So basically, Belle Morte is now forcing Anita in to sex. All I want from this stupid book is for Anita to be in to sex, just once. For her to enthusiastically consent to fucking. For her to enjoy said fucking without having to be goaded or prodded in to doing it. Is that really so much to ask?

I'm unclear as to whether Jason and Nathaniel, who turn out to be the ones sucking Anita's tits, think she's consented to this or not. It's so difficult to tease out the consent in these books that at least for this scene, I've partially given up trying.

Anita can't fight off Belle Morte and maintain control over the ardeur. She begs J.C. and Asher to help her. They're standing off to the side watching Jason and Nathaniel indulge in their nursing fetish. Asher and J.C. have a cryptic conversation and crawl in bed with everyone else, which makes Belle Morte pleased as punch. Anita realizes this is a trap, because as soon as J.C. and Asher feed on Jason and Nathaniel, the ardeur will become so strong as to take away everyone's free will.

I love this goddamn baby so much.

Of course she can't warn them in time, so J.C. and Asher start feeding. Jason brings Anita to an orgasm with only a couple seconds of diddling. Anita sure orgasms quickly, doesn't she? It's almost like LKH is caught between wanting to write raunchy sex, and wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible becauiseshe's terribly embarrassed by her own fantasies.

For some reason the ardeur makes it so she can feel everyone else's pleasure too. Nathaniel comes, though LKH describes it as his "body building" and as a "release." Jason starts screaming because reasons. The vampires are in full on ecstasy mode which Anita describes in as hokey a way as possible.

So basically, Nate and Jason sucked on Anita's tits. J.C. and Asher fed on Nate and Jason. And somehow this terribly tame heavy petting session gave them all the best orgasms ever, because magic.

Anita sees a pornographic psychic picture reel thanks to Belle Morte. J.C. and Asher used to fuck her at the same time! Le gasp! Only vampires enjoy such things, for they are amoral whores. Anita has the presence of mind to try and force Belle Morte to go the fuck away, which is another excuse for Anita to writhe around on the bed with her tits out, a la Lucy in Mel Brook's terrible vampire parody.

Did you know there's a character in that movie named Lysette? Brb Loling forever.

Anita does necromancy bullshit.

"I drew my necromancy like a great dark cloud, a storm ready to break..."

That is some low effort nonsense right there.

Nathaniel is teh awed and calls her Nimir-Ra even though this is clearly not wereleopard magic. There are some more uninspired storm metaphors. Honestly, how does LKH make so much money? There is nothing brilliant about this. There is very little craftsmanship. It's like comparing a cat to water or a painful emotion to a knife. No fucking shit. And not moments after I wrote this little rant, I came across Anita feeling Jason's pulse and comparing his blood to candy. Come ON.

She bites Jason and uses his blood to push Belle Morte out of everyone's minds. Then because she also a witch she tries to geas Belle against contacting them again. If you're going to hang this many powers on a character, they better have a larger than life personality. Anita, it goes without saying, does not.

Anita says something supposedly badass about how Belle Morte should just pick up a phone instead of mucking about in her head.

Writing Process Blog Tour

Hi everyone. I'm participating in the Writing Process blog tour. You'll get an idea of my writing style and I'll go in to what I am working on now. Stick around! Thanks to Monica Enderle Pierce, author of Famine, for the invite. Check out her book, you guys. It's incredible.

What am I working on?

Technically, four manuscripts at once. I have the next Twisted Tree novels up in the air, as well as a paranormal romance. However, my primary project is a police procedural meets urban fantasy novel with the working title Aim For Blue. The story is told through the journal entries of the main character, a Salish homicide detective who also happens to be an atheistic witch. It incorporates action-adventure, the nuts and bolts of crime investigation, and issues of alienation and othering, set against a modern San Fransisco backdrop.

How does my work differ from others in my genre?

I write darker, more serious works than a lot of what is on offer in urban fantasy. Not that what might be termed bubblegum books are a bad thing! However, I've just never been drawn to that sort of story. I don't believe in being grim for the sake of it, though. I like to see characters succeed, but it's never a clean success. I will always or almost always make a character pay dearly for what they have acquired.

I also make it a point to portray diversity and multiculturalism as much as possible, especially if the character in question is a major protagonist. My work tends towards the genre mash up side of things as well. I have no compunctions about baking up a seven layer story cake and covering it in three kinds of genre frosting.

Why do I write what I do?

Because I feel compelled to. I would venture that most writers feel compelled to write. It's certainly not the desire for fame and fortune that motivates us! I am committed to diversity in my worlds because that's simply how I feel the real world works. The real world has an immense amount of color and depth, and part of that is due to differences. I don't think difference has to be a frightening thing. Rather, it's something to be celebrated. People from minority groups often don't have the luxury of seeing themselves represented in media, so I'm doing my part to change that.

I am also incapable of writing straight nonfiction. If there's no supernatural element, I can't sustain it. I grew up reading Sword and Sorceress (secondary world fantasy short stories) and Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series, and I've never turned my back on magic and fantasy even though I now prefer to work with real world settings instead of wholly made up ones.

How does my writing process work?

I open Scrivener and stare at my manuscript while in the grip of existential terror. My writing process is hard. For whatever reason I've never been able to sit down and type away at a fast clip and some days it feels like I have to force every sentence.

Mostly I write in coffee shops because I like the press of humanity and sound. When I'm home it's too easy to get distracted. I need writing to feel like a job that I go to, and I am hopelessly addicted to coffee on top of that.

I often write scenes out of order as they come to me. Scrivener is wonderful if you're that sort of writer, since it has a corkboard function that allows you to easily reorder scenes. I used to be what is commonly called a pantser, i.e. someone who writes by the seat of their pants, with no outline. Now I am learning to love the outline. I write a very basic one in pen with arrows loosely connecting ideas and scenes, but despite its simplicity it does help. I also use Hiveword to create a series bible. That way I don't mess up every one's hair and eye color, or how tall they are, or what powers they have.

Lastly, music is very important and every one of my novels has a playlist.

Introduce the people you are passing this on to

1). Chelsea Gaither

Chelsea writes in a wide variety of genres, including fantasy, sci-fi, and horror. She is a prolific author and gets more self assured and talented with each book.

2). Avery Teoda

Avery is my coauthor for the Twisted Tree world. He loves to write urban fantasy, usually set in or around Arkansas. His initial contribution to our shared world is a novel called The Wicked Instead. It follows the adventurers of two brothers after they escape from a fundamentalist religious upbringing, and details their struggle to adapt to the real world. They gain shamanic powers and learn to travel the world tree.

3). Lily Author

Lily helps moderate one of the best groups on Goodreads, Fringe Fiction. She writes dark contemporary fiction. Check out her book, Eden Fell.

Just a little something

I dolled myself up the way Akua liked. I knew I interested her and I wasn’t above playing that angle. She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, even without vampiric hypnosis to convince me. I tied the silk top with the blue ribbon belt attached to the midriff, pulling the printed fabric tight against my bare skin. With my push up bra I almost looked like I had breasts worth ogling, though it was almost one hundred percent illusion. I wore the shortest skirt I thought I could get away with, though it made me feel exposed and vulnerable. And in no small part turned on, which I prefer not to be in public.

I avoided the back of my closet where I’d stuffed all my old regalia. I couldn’t bear to throw it away, even if it was sized for the little girl I’d long since grown out of. Faint memories of my aunts surfaced, their laughs, the way Aunt Jessie Glistening-On-Water always wore thick purple eyeshadow that I loved so much. Anything deeper than that remained frustratingly out of reach, and as I leaned over the sink to get closer to the mirror so I could put mascara on I almost twitched and left a black mark on my cheek. Damn that accident. Hell, then again maybe it was better that I didn’t remember much.

I was getting better at walking in heels and I put on the highest pair I could get away with. I managed to make my way out in to the living room. I paused to look at the eagle picture I had there, over the T.V., that dad had insisted I have. I figured it was the Native version of pictures of Jesus, like when you went to a Catholic’s house and his beady little eyes followed you everywhere.