This is my personal blog and does not necessarily reflect the collective views of Hard Limits Press

Friday, June 26, 2015

Cerulean Sins Chapter Twenty Seven

Some of the GIFs in this post come from Incorrect Dragon Age, which is amazingly hilarious if you're a Bioware fan

"I entered the kitchen and found the phone on the hook..."

1) it's what, 2006 in this book and she still has a wired line?

2) As opposed to what? Where else would one find the phone when not in use? Oh, is this because Zebrowski called and despite it being a million years between then and now she's so arrogant she still expects his poor ass to be waiting patiently on the other end? It's that one, isn't it? That's the answer.

Caleb is here.

"Caleb was my least favorite of the new leopards..."

Finally, something Anita and I can agree on. Because if Caleb got through a single sentence in my presence his ass would be on a one way trip to the pound, no questions asked. Caleb is ten pounds of testicles in a five pound bag, tied closed with a hellish chauvanistic ribbon. But it says TWINK on the bag in block letters so we're supposed to forgive the contents because he's cute and doesn't wear a shirt.

Anita is a total hypocrite, if a poorly piloted skinsuit can be said to have personality traits. Also in Caleb's defense (shudder) Jason is exactly the same kind of creep, but he gets a pass because he gives Anita the D.

I need to know that Caleb has new nipple piercings and likes to walk around with the top button on his jeans unbuttoned. I love how everyone in this series is a fourth tier reject for Cabaret's chorus line.

Caleb also enjoys toying with his nipple rings at the slightest provocation and is all around the kind of guy that probably eats from a trough.

Anita is a badass investigator because when he hands her a piece of note paper, she recognizes it as the paper she keeps by the phone.


Anita doesn't recognize the writing, so it's probably Caleb's. Thanks for clarifying that. I wouldn't have realized, despite Caleb telling you he's there to take notes.

There's a message from Zebrowski, telling Anita that Dolph is out of the office for two weeks. I love that Anita is such an unrepentant narcissist that she's still faintly confused about why someone wouldn't want to wait patiently on the phone for her for like four goddamn hours or how long its been now.

You know, at least Caleb is actually being portrayed as a creep. Because he is one. He is the prototypical creep from which all other creeps derive. But I can't enjoy it because he behaves exactly the same as everyone else. The only difference is that LKH has designated him as perpetually up to no good--like colluding with Chimera, the big bad from NiC--so I am supposed to feel as though his sexual harrassment and general gross slimy squidgy existence is somehow naughty bad wrong, even as Anita and Co blithely go around committing sexual assault like they have a speciality business in it. I guess Professional Rapist wouldn't fit on a standard business card so she had to settle for Animator instead.

Micah sent Caleb to watch over Anita today, despite Caleb missing Chimera. This is how Anita describes Chimera, by the way:

"...Chimera had been a sexual sadist, a serial killer, and an all around very bad man." 

Caleb has also pierced his dick. We know this because Merle threatened to cut them all out if he didn't behave and go everywhere with Anita. Caleb has no idea why he's been assigned to do this. Anita thinks it's so she'll have someone to feed off of if the ardeur rises. Apparently Caleb's informed consent doesn't cross anyone's mind.

No comments:

Post a Comment