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Monday, February 9, 2015

Cerulean Sins Chapter Nineteen

They're going to another crime scene, this time in a neighborhood called Chesterfield. Anita describes Chesterfield in the same mind numbingly inane way she described Wildwood.

To wit: "There were medium sized trees in the yards, which meant the area was over ten years old. It takes time to grow trees."

Words is LKH's business.

I love how this bullshit about trees is supposed to show me that Anita is a wonderful investigator even though she's never heard of landscaping. People regularly buy in trees and have them planted at all stages of maturity.

T.V. and print reporters are both here. Anita can tell the difference by whether they have tape recorders.

Man, she sure is hot shit huh?

Jason and Anita tell each other stupid things with their swollen word holes. Words leak from their useless faces and say things like, getting through the press will be a problem, and haha everyone knows you're a cock sheath for the biggest vampire penor around town. Well, that's basically how Jason says it, anyway, because Jason is a werepig. The chauvinist kind.

Anita says she still has her badge on. Thanks for focusing on the most important details, LKH.

Reporters crowd Anita and she thinks it's a bad idea to just say no comment, so she says some shit they immediately misconstrue, obviously. Remember that video floating around awhile back about how you should never speak to the police? That should go for reporters too. Anita is also a fucking idiot AGAIN because somehow even though she's almost a celebrity herself and attached to law enforcement, it's like this is the first time she's had to navigate this situation. It's just an excuse to put Anita on center stage again, like this is a wish fulfillment fanfic written by a lonely middle aged woman whose life is empty.

"Marshall Blake [the title] made me feel like I should be guest starring on Gunsmoke."

Okay I'll give you that one, that's pretty good.

Anita knew she was coming to a series of crime scenes, yet left her crime scene kit at home.

She's suddenly talking to Jason about the importance of latex gloves at a crime scene even though at the first crime scene she was a total shit show.

There's a detective here named Merlioni, who has a habit of calling Anita girly and chickie. I am just going to assume that they're close enough to do this because otherwise my head will explode.

...oh, except Anita doesn't even know Merlioni's first name.

Nor does she realize he smokes, though they've been through hell and back together. SHOW DON'T TELL.

Jason and Anita smell meat and the beasts wake up and growl and shit. Prepare for a DARKITY DARK crime scene in the next chapter.

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