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Sunday, January 25, 2015

Cerulean Sins Chapter Eighteen

Anita finally gets to the crime scene itself, despite absolutely zero investigative strategy being applied. There's a guy nailed to the wall of what I can only assume is a house. The details consist of "small porch" "hallway" and "straight backed chair."

Anita thinks it's weird that someone took the time to nail this guy to the wall, yet didn't imitate the crucifixion of Jesus.

She touches the bloody wall and only then realizes she's forgotten her surgical gloves.

She has interacted with an officer, Zebrowski, plus a second officer Zebrowski gave orders to, yet no one has mentioned even the most basic investigative procedures?

Oh Zebrowski is at fault for letting her in here without gloves, according to Anita. He's probably worried about getting his spleen ripped out if he dares correct Anita the great and powerful. But he's a fucking idiot too because he says "I didn't expect you to touch the evidence."

Anita uses some hand sanitizer, which makes her hands "feel wet, though I knew they weren't."

The next paragraph is so ridiculous, I don't even know how to get through it. Okay. So. Around this body--which is white haired and male--there are a bunch of "candy colored" pentagrams drawn in chalk. Plus Nordic runes, which Anita totally knows tons about because of her one semester of comparative religion way back when.

Personally I also feel that if your job is dealing with the supernatural, you ought to take more than a single paltry semester of comparative religion.

Anita launches in to a long As You Know, Bob where she tells Zebrowski how these runes don't make any sense together and how rituals require a specific purpose and basically a bunch of shit a guy in his position should definitely know. Hell, he could probably just Google it on his smartphone and get the same insight.

This culminates in the worst exposition known to man. Anita tells Zebrowski that she can't sense any magic here. He says that Tammy told him the same thing.

"Tammy Reynolds, your one and only witch on staff?"

Apparently Dolph doesn't trust Tammy because she's a witch, even though Tammy is a Christian witch. Why in the fuck he trusts Anita more I have no idea. Anita is banging the Master of the City. And Asher. And Micah. get the idea. So Anita is double checking Tammy's work because...?

Plus holy shit if Dolph is this bigoted there should be protests and riots and controversial court cases and fucking sit ins until he's bounced from his job.

Dolph is apparently in a bad mood. Now that Zebrowski has told her that, Anita is in a bad mood. She's in such a bad mood that she manages to "stomp" in three inch high heels. Is there anything Anita can't do???

She also finally confirms this is a house.

Anita goes on telling Zebrowski absolutely bog standard information, like how the crime scene is obviously staged and how someone who stood to inherit this guy's money (because the house is really nice, despite being barely described) probably had a hand in it. Dolph thought all this too, or so Zebrowski says, so at least not everyone has the brain of a concussed goldfish.

Another incredible clunker:

"You just don't like that she (Tammy)'s dating Larry Kirkland, your animator in training." 


Plus, really? This is the third book I've done and I don't think Larry has been mentioned at all so far. And I am supposed to care because...?

Anita has to go to the next scene because it's super violent and Dolph needs her to tell him whether a human did it. Isn't he supposed to be her superior? He doesn't know?

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