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Monday, June 9, 2014

Narcissus in Chains Chapter Twenty Three

We get some measurements for the clearing which are probably wrong and ridiculous. There's a big ass throne here which has somehow been in use for countless generations despite being in a city that hasn't existed for more than what, two hundred years? I just looked it up and St Louis was founded in 1764. Of course the next logical step I take is, oh well, maybe some indigenous tribe owned it. But then, how come the pack is primarily white people, with only two people of color, neither of whom are Native American? Okay, so that's not it. the werewolves put this thing on an airplane every time there's a new Ulfric for this particular clan? Where did it come from in the first place?

It's also covered in a purple cloth, because this is the set of a shitty period drama. There are torches all over the place and werewolves are everywhere. Are they described? No. Do we know what things smell like? No. What's the weather like? Hm. What we do know is exactly who is standing where. Glad we cleared that up. I couldn't have possibly understood what was going on unless I knew exactly where wererat #7 was hanging out.

Sylvie shows up and there's some subtle negging about how she isn't wearing makeup, though if she were rest assured Anita would judge her for that, too. There's a guy here who is probably Jacob, and Anita compares him to a tiger. Don't compare one animal to another! It's just weird. It's like if you poured a bowl of chicken soup over a plate of steak and shrimp. Technically it's all meat based but that doesn't mean all the elements go together.

Yep it's Jacob. Things are sure starting to spill a lot. Power spills. The silk spills. Anita's fee fees spill.

Jacob is darkity dark ruthless because this is My Immortal. Richard is not darkity dark and therefore is a shitty leader and person. He is so weak that he needs to rely on others to do the things he won't. I had no idea being a goddamn raging psychopath was such an adaptive trait.

Shang Da is Asian and therefore he dresses in fussy suits, because duh, Asian. Jamil is black, so he has cornrows with beads in them and is wearing a tank top that looks just great against his delicious exotic racial cocoa that Anita just wants to drink down, down, down until something clenches and things turn drowning blue.

Anita goes on about how everyone around Richard is teh grimz and how they would do the ruthless stuff if Richard would let them. So, serious question...what is this ruthless stuff that needs doing, that Richard isn't handling? I mean sure Jacob might challenge him for alpha. So what? Presumably the werewolves have rituals and shit about how that plays out. Other than that, what exactly is Richard failing to do?

Richard announces that they need to choose a new lupa and that Anita has a chance to win back Gregory. Some nattering about the rats, who are here to support Anita and only trust Richard because they know he'll uphold an honor debt.

1). Richard is a big fucking nancy baby because he has integrity and standards. Rafael agrees with this on more than one occasion.

2) Rafael only trusts Richard, because Richard has integrity and standards


Richard shows some political strength by calling Jacob out on whether Jacob wants to challenge him. Of course a DIRTY WHORE interrupts it because she wants to be the new lupa, and is trying to get the position by making Richard's dick hard. Anita of course has to describe her in the least flattering terms possible, making this woman sound desperate and evil because she dared to wear a revealing dress. Also her hair is dyed red and that makes her an irredeemable slut.

Her name is Paris. Sigh. She's also evil because when Sylvie shows up to make her go back with the other lupa hopefuls she makes a crack about how Sylvie enjoyed being raped. Fine LKH. That does legit make her evil, though I see you had to choose the most obvious offensive shorthand to get there.

Richard acknowledges Donovan, and Jacob makes a crack about how Anita just goes around rescuing everyone. She totally does, because everyone in this book exists to react to Anita. That is their primary function. You never get the sense that the secondary characters have lives or dreams or hopes or fears in an LKH book. They're all soulless cardboard props, and Anita just goes around pretending they can talk and move.

Sylvie seriously calls for a show of hands of how many people Anita has rescued. This is so gross. This is just LKH calling herself great over and over, because there is absolutely no distance between her and Anita. Keep in mind if I recall rightly there are over seven hundred werewolves in this clearing, and by the count Anita has somehow saved over three hundred of them.

This is hilarious because later she will rape every single one of these people. I wonder if they'll do a show of hands for that.

Jacob makes a very good point about Anita being a shitty lupa, considering she bailed six months ago without so much as a by your leave. Of course because he has spoken up against Anita he will at some point be unceremoniously dispatched. Anita says that she didn't know she needed to act like a lupa, saying she thought she was just Richard's girlfriend. This woman works with the supernatural world on a regular basis and is supposed to have degrees directly relating to things like werewolf behavior.




THIS WHOLE SCENE IS A SET UP. See, Anita can keep her position as lupa if she agrees to fuck Richard on the throne, in front of everyone.

Woe, Anita and Richard cannot have teh true luv rape beams even though now their beasts could like, totally touch if they wanted to.

Fuck this and goodnight.


  1. The closest group I can think of that would have been likely to have any sort of throne would be the Cahokians, of whose city is roughly where East St. Louis is now. (Of course, most of the mounds were destroyed, because Europeans love destroying shit.) And they abandoned Cahokia in, uh, 1400 BCE or so. So somehow, there's a rock throne, in an area where there used to be a thriving city, that was somehow NOT found by the Europeans who arrived later, and destroyed for a house foundation. My ass. I can't figure out if Laurel honestly did not learn fuck-all about the history of the area past the founding of the city (and frankly, it's entirely possible), or she did know and somehow missed the fact that such a formation would have probably have been destroyed.

    Sorry. My history degree is showing, and it is angry.

    1. Sometimes I think she just does whatever pops in her head. She goes OMG COOL AN ANCIENT ROCK THRONE and in it goes without any pause to ascertain whether it's actually a good idea. I have been watching her progress writing Shiver of Light, and it's obvious that she just goes hell bent for leather through her first draft and then turns it in.