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Sunday, August 10, 2014

Narcissus in Chains Chapter Sixty Three

Zeke the werewolf comes in and tells them Cherry, the wereleopard nurse, is also "worse than dead" if Anita and Co don't listen to him. You'd think this would be more poignant if Zane was here telling them this instead of Zeke. Oh well, maybe the carrion birds got him. And you know, fed and fed and fed off of him. Until he was dead, and stuff.

Oh Anita has a white couch too. What a relevant and tension heightening detail! Anita thinks about how she'll shoot Zeke if he says the wrong thing, even though Zeke is massively outnumbered. Sure, why not.

"What do you want?" I asked." 

Is this asshole serious? I thought the stakes were already made pretty fucking clear, and it doesn't take a genius to realize that Chimera wants her to come back to the club.

"if I'd really been sane I couldn't have been calm..."

Again, no. Sanity and insanity are legal states of mind, used in a judicial context to determine level of culpability in the commission of crimes. Granted most people use terms like this as slang to describe someone who is just generally out of their tree, but even in that sense being able to compartmentalize when faced with something upsetting doesn't necessarily tell me anything useful about the sanity or lack thereof of the person in question. I'm extravagantly mentally ill but I've always been cool under pressure. It's only later that the consequences set in. Or what about people with military training? Or hey wait a second, people with police training, like Anita has? But no, her tendency to put emotions aside in moments of crisis must lead in to another little dribble about how she's obviously a sociopath (even though being a sociopath DOES NOT MAKE YOU INSANE).

Zeke reveals that Chimera believes Anita to be a panwere like himself, or a were that can take more than one animal form. Anita shoots him down with "not possible." Goddamit that's such an annoying personality trait. Asshole, you don't know what is and isn't possible. Who died and made you the queen of knowing things? Goddammit. 

Zeke wants to go fetch Gina from the car. Gina was mentioned like once or twice at the beginning of this travesty and that's it, so I'm fairly certain she's a wereleopard. I know nothing else. They don't want to let Zeke go out there because he might bring reinforcements, which is fucking dumb anyway because if he wanted that why not just lead the charge right from the jump? Zeke suggests sending Caleb and calls him by name. Oh gasp, oh horrors, Zeke and Caleb have some kind of prior relationship! I bet one of them raped the other. Or maybe they raped each other? It's an AB book it could go either way.

Gina comes to the door herself, effectively ending the blathering for a precious moment. She has a big shawl wrapped around her even though it's hot outside. Oh, prepare for drama.

Wait, hold on, Zeke is Chimera's "top goon" ? I pride myself on being able to translate LKH speak fairly well  but I am now completely lost. I don't remember half these people or their relationships to each other because I've been forced to consider the capacious nature of Anita's vagina for like fifty chapters instead of being introduced to characters who might matter later.

Of course, Gina has been tortured and shows up because Chimera wants to horrify Anita. She's naked under the shawl, because of course she is. Zeke finally lets us in on what there is of a plot, though it's basically taking reconstituted liver pills and calling them a meal. Chimera was never a crazy person before but now he's unstable and sadistic. Zeke wants Anita to help depose Chimera.


Oh my god, what the hell am I doing with my life? How is this a published book, let alone a very successful published book? Why am I chained to this desk reviewing these pieces of offensive trash? I should just...


Zeke is rational and reasonably articulate as he makes his case, leading Anita to say "you talk awful pretty for a goon."

Shut the fuck up you classist piece of trash. Oh and by the way you know what makes you a piece of trash? Your actions. The only things that truly matter when determining your worth as a person. Not your race, or what your job is, or your gender. Your actions. Which. are. fucking. horrible. Anita hasn't done a single redeemable thing in this entire novel. As we get close to the end I am becoming dangerously frayed by this unending bullshit. Seriously.

Zeke tells her to shove it, more or less, by pointing out that Chimera is keeping him trapped in wolfman form and the jobs for people who are obviously weres don't amount to much. So, Zeke showed up at Anita's door in wolfman form, in broad daylight (presumably). He had to get out in to the boonies somehow, so this tells me he made the drive from the club to Anita's place while shifted. What? Seriously. what?

Rafael is going to help and is coming on down with his guys. Bully for him. Zeke reveals that Chimera is behind the disappearances of the alpha shifters. The attempts at plot at this zero hour are roundly pathetic. They're the dying twitches of an eel with its head chopped off, just bleeding ineffectually all over your cutting board. Sorry LKH, there may be electricity flowing through this corpse but it's not coming back to life any time soon.

Turns out Jacob the werewolf cut a deal with Chimera, where he'd turn the pack over to Chimera if things went his way. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Jacob has always been portrayed as wanting the pack for himself. Why the hell he would just hand it off to this stranger, I don't know.

Turns out Micah was supposed to get the leopards for Chimera too, for some reason. I don't know. I don't even know what is happening anymore. I don't think LKH does either. Apparently Micah realized that Anita was just too tough for Chimera to take, so he came up with the panwere lie to keep Chimera off their backs. So Micah has been trying to protect Anita and the leopards this whole time, even though he came in with bad intent. Whatever. I am all out of fucks to give.

Gina shows off her torture scars. Of course her breasts are still perfect, naturally, but her back is a mess of burns and marks. Well thank god her breasts are still pert and lovely.

Turns out this whole time Chimera had Violet and Gina, torturing them to keep Micah in line. This could be so good, if we hadn't taken up like 75% of the book with Anita's mind numbing relationship problems and the most prudish sex I've ever been forced to slog through.

Everyone agrees that Chimera needs to be stopped.

"Stopped hell," Bobby Lee said, "we need to kill his ass."

Bobby Lee, I'm sorry you're stuck in such a shitty book.

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