Narcissus in Chains Epilogue

I've been putting this one off long enough. I broke my mouse so I can't change the color on the quotes. Sorry.

Here's a big list of all the things LKH is not writer enough to tackle in the main body of her work:

1). "Richard did make me his Bolverk."

Reasons why this shouldn't be shunted off to the side: It was presented as a dramatic moment, one Richard struggled with because of his principles. Whether a Bolverk is a necessary part of a successful pack could be the main plot point for the novel even, with events making a case for or against as the story unfolds. Given all the fucking whining Anita does about her supposed sociopathy it could have been a questionable position for her as well, forcing her to evaluate whether her growing ruthlessness is appropriate. Instead the bulk of Anita's attention in regards to this issue goes to the fact that she and Richard are no longer together romantically.

Anita's first act as Bolverk is to execute Jacob. Why? He was already punished. To show how practical Anita supposedly is, I guess. She wanted to kill Paris too, the werewolf who wanted to be Richard's lupa. She has even less justification for this. Paris' only crime is being a social climber and who could blame her, with how cuthroat the pack is? A smart person would either try to lay as low as possible, or try to seize power so they can rewrite the rules to favor their own actions. Anita is a nasty piece of work, basically, and not in a way that makes me want to read about her.

2). "I did not turn furry with the full moon."

Of course not. That would be interesting. It's another plot thread introduced in the novel that goes nowhere, by the way. It shocks me that LKH thinks this kind of quick and dirty clean up is acceptable writing. I don't even entirely blame her. Where are her editors? Her agent? The publisher? It's a sad state of affairs when they keep turning out this crap because they know that no matter how bad it is, it will sell and make them money. Hell, I'm part of the problem because I have to buy these pieces of trash to review them, seeing as how my eyes are too bad for a lot of print books (which I could get from the library for free).

Apparently Anita is so much like a vampire that she now has an animal to call, leopards. Then why does she have a beast?

3). Anita is chairman of the newly formed shapeshifter coalition, despite not being a shapeshifter. Why? It makes me crazy how there are just WAY WAY too many shapeshifters in St. Louis (seriously, all these predators in one space?) yet there isn't one among them worthy of leadership? I have asked this throughout the whole novel but I'll ask it once more: why are people who can turn in to pony sized leopards, hyenas, tigers etc so completely incompetent? Of course physical size and strength doesn't equate to mental toughness across the board, but surely some of the independence and ferocity commonly associated with, say, jungle cats should have rubbed off on these people? At least to the point where their own fucking coalition doesn't need to be ruled by a short sighted outsider.

4). Anita is dating both Micah and J.C. Oh thank god, I was so worried about whether she would keep dating them both.

5). They rescued Joseph the lion who is mostly a plot device both LKH and the reader forgot about for most of the book. His wife is still pregnant. Anita informs us that Narcissus is a hermaphrodite, pregnant, and that she isn't sure he should be breeding, all in one block of horribly twisted text.

5a). My relationship to the word hermaphrodite is that well, I happen to like it. It's hard to find a word that means a synthesis of male and female plus a spiritual component. However, what Anita is describing is more properly called intersex, first off. Secondly, Anita is not trans, intersex, or genderqueer. So in her case especially, she should be defaulting to less controversial terms to describe someone else. You are allowed to self define however you want, yes, even if it's not in a politically correct way. You are not allowed to define other people, especially through the use of in group language that doesn't in any way belong to you, Anita.

5b). Anita isn't sure he should be breeding? Why? What has Narcissus done to earn Anita's ire? So far his only 'crimes' are that he likes BDSM, is queer, and is intersex. What am I saying, that's more than enough for Princess GOP to think he shouldn't be breeding.

This constant LGBT phobia is killing me inside.

6). Both the cobras are dead. I don't care about them so whatever.

7). Nate is apparently Anita's pomme de sang now but don't worry, they're not having "intercourse." Anita is just using him to feed her demon sex magic BUT IT'S NOT SEX.

8). Musette, one of Belle Morte's inner circle, wants to come visit. Oh ho hello 'plot' of Cerulean Dreams.

9). Ronnie is an unreasonable bitch for questioning Anita's highly questionable lifestyle, so she's in the doghouse. Yes, how dare anyone question the fact that someone who is supposed to be a vampire executioner happens to be fucking the most powerful vampire in the city? It can't possibly be a conflict of interests. Oh no. It's that Ronnie is a jealous prude. Hypocrisy, thy name is Anita Blake.

10). More whining about how Richard won't accept himself. Don't we just HATE him you guys? I mean LKH clearly wants us to. I think this has become one of the most tiresome things about the books for me. Why can't she just admit that she's failed at telling a story? That her protagonist is in no way likable and that makes her constant bitching about Richard really unpleasant? Richard is the only one who thinks maybe you shouldn't torture and kill everyone who dares disagree with you, and I'm supposed to think he's a weak willed wimp with a self loathing complex.

11). Micah and J.C. and Anita are all ruthless and teh hawt and they have teh hawt sexxors with each other.

"Life really is good, even if you're dead."

Another good line. It's a little like finding a nice plump blueberry in a cake made of shit though. It doesn't make up for the shit, is what I'm saying.