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Thursday, January 1, 2015

Cerulean Sins Chapter Thirteen

Time for another Anita Blake chapter (oh and here's Dottie's)

For someone who supposedly enjoys writing sex so much, there's a weird hour long time skip. I am not sure why. Granted, I too tend to skip whenever I feel like it (which I've been criticized for, so I'm going to try and move away from doing it so often) but the middle of a sex scene feels like a particularly bizarre time to employ this device. I mean, this is the sort of sex scene that should take time. It's emotional, it's complex (well it would be if the author were someone else), lots of things are going on. This is the time to really weave a spell for the reader, to show us all the sensuality at work here. Instead we get jumped right to the ardeur. I have nothing against sex magic--honestly I'd be a hypocrite if I did--but I dislike the ardeur. Every time it makes an appearance it's a guarantee that the fucking to follow will be joyless banging, if they even get that far.

To wit,

..."it [the ardeur] was like a force of nature, a storm that broke over us, washing away Jean-Claude's clothes and what was left of mine."

Teehee. Instead of a like, wind and water storm, it's a storm of sex. 

There's a fairly hot moment where Anita is giving Asher's balls a tongue bath but she uses the word "scrotum." Okay see, I think sex scenes should be appropriate to the character narrating them, so I can see a certain type of person resorting to clinical terms. That said, this scene is supposed to be sexy and scrotum is just not a sexy word. It just isn't and it never will be.

It also bothers me that the perfection of Asher's penis is his most important defining trait. This is not what writing books mean by "backstory wound." 

So let's see if I can make sense of this. J.C. is inside one of Anita's "openings." I presume his dick is in her pussy but we'll never really know with language like this. Asher is pressed up against her with his "weight beating in to both of us" (wat) but Anita doesn't want to share her "opening with him."

Her reluctance to be out and out dirty really hurts these scenes.

So J.C. is fucking her and Asher is dry humping her ass.

Whoa hold on, Asher is wet?

Oh wait, I think it's supposed to be precome. But LKH just can't use a word as low class as precome so I am left thinking she doesn't know how assholes work.

Hold on, stop the presses. Asher bites her. Isn't this the thing she's held out against for like eleven books? She won't even let J.C. feed from her. She consented (sort of) to sex, but she didn't say anything about biting. She's screaming at Asher to "be inside" her but I doubt she meant teeth to be the avenue.

Asher comes in a "scalding wave."

The ardeur "drinks" them both "down" 

They all come like, a billion times you guys, and then Asher and J.C. 'die' because dawn is here. Anita is trapped between their bodies. Haha comedy.

She screams.

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