Dottie's chapter is here
Let's swoop down and vanquish this piece of crap, shall we?
"I sat on the white couch with its brand new bullet hole."
1). We already know the couch is white.
2). It being white doesn't really contrast with the fact that there's a bullet hole in it, even though LKH plainly wants me to think this is a wonderful juxtaposition of refinement and violence. Out of everything she has to work with to showcase this, she chooses the fucking couch.
3). The sentence implies that the bullet hole is a character in and of itself, personified and sitting next to Anita..
Micah is actually sitting next to her and the fact that he's naked makes her uncomfortable because...actually, I have no idea why.
Bobby Lee and Cris try to stand behind Anita but she won't let them, because she doesn't like people standing behind her. Interestingly in The Diva Ate Her, the author 'character' has this same quirk. I think LKH also confirmed this to be so during one of her writing Anita has given me PTSD rants (UGH). Surprise, surprise. Did you know LKH is afraid of flying, and conveniently so is Anita?
Now, in a way I can understand this impulse. I've never written anything in first person before now, and the ms I am working on does draw on my life in some minor (note: MINOR) ways because it's easier to maintain a first person voice if you know what the fuck you are talking about. At the same time, you can't blatantly recreate yourself. Your MC must be a separate person from you, distinct, with their own voice and their own challenges. Sure, you can have your MC drive the same car you drive because you know exactly how it works and it's easy to riff on it when the MC needs to mention something about her mode of transportation. What you should not do is give your MC all your personal and private tics and fears.
Merle is here, and Gil the pointless werefox, and I think Nathaniel and Jason? I can't keep all this character soup down. Asher likes to lurk around like the Phantom of the Opera with his hair over one half of his face. What with all the stupid pop culture references it would be awesome if he was the Phantom of the Opera. Fuck vampire Elvis, I want vampire Eric.
..."I could still feel the weight of [Asher's] gaze, like a hand pushing."
What is this, like the eleventy bazillion time she's used this analogy?
I think Asher is jealous because Micah and J.C. have a little homoerotic vibe going on. Even though we've been told that feeding off of someone is both emotional and sexual, Anita is going to stand by and let J.C. feed off of Micah even though she won't let Asher and J.C. be together. I hate her and her homophobic face so much. I guess Micah has been sanctified by Anita's holy vagina, so she knows he won't turn gay on her.
J.C. turns up in a black fur edged robe, his hair wet and his crazy pale skin showing through as he moves. I don't get why he's supposed to be sexy, really, but maybe it's just me. Things get super homoerotic as him and Micah give each other sexy looks and Micah blushes. Anita feels jealous now. J.C. stands behind Micah and leans in to bite him, but Anita has to interrupt and say there ought to be a little privacy despite neither man giving any sign that they give a shit who watches. Merle isn't happy about any of this but I am deriving some small measure of satisfaction because this is the only remotely hot thing that has happened in this entire book.
So J.C. finally bites Micah.
"Jean-Claude reared back, drawing him half over the couch. Micah cried out, his hands going to Jean-Claude's arm, holding on, as the vampire rocked his body backwards. Jean-Claude moved his hand from Micah's face to his waist, as if he knew the other man wouldn't move away now. He held Micah, arms across his chest and waist, Micah's hands on Jean-Claude's arm."
You'll note she just told us the same thing twice. Oh well. Onward!
"He stretched Micah's body backwards as he'd lengthened the man's neck earlier, so that Micah's body showed in a long, clean line, back curved against Jean-Claude's body, so that both of them were bowed backwards."
Obviously this writing is terrible. It's clumsy, confusing, and absolute shit with pronouns. BUT it is also the only thing to even sort of titillate me in this whole mess. Points for effort I guess. Ugh. Though this is a bunch of horribly thoughtless bullshit again, because I can only imagine how poor denied Asher feels watching this. It's also implied that Merle doesn't like this because he's watched Micah get fed on before, but fuck emotional nuance let's do it in front of him anyway yay!
...seeing without a doubt that what was happening was making his body happy."
Micah has an erection. There. I just saved you a lot of trouble.
I guess it's okay if guys engage in homosexual activity if they're in front of Anita, so Anita can objectify and ogle them during. Also it's very obvious Asher's crime is that he isn't banging Anita, and thus he will be denied the cock.
In The Diva Ate Her there's a very telling scene where Miram, the author character, tells Melody, the assistant, that a big publishing name owes her because he is gay and therefore will never sleep with her. Somehow this translates to him being obligated to do what Miriam wants regarding her book release. I think that sums up this entire book's homophobia problem right there. As long as the men pay tribute to Anita's vagina, they will occasionally be allowed homosexual activity should it please her. Of course just like the stereotypical image of straight girls making out with each other in order to get male attention, the homosexual activity in these books will primarily involve Anita and will be done for Anita's pleasure.
I am sick to death of reading the words "drowning blue."
Oh my god, Micah's eyes are also "drowning black" ! What in the blue fuck does drowning black mean? I mean blue, okay, the ocean. Obv. But drowning black? This is a new low.
Micah's gaze is "like something pushing against me."
I'm LKH and I don't edit, so you peons get to read my special thoughts as many damn times as I want.
Asher points out that they came here to rescue Damian. Anita tells him to fuck off and that she won't "salve his male ego."
Dear Anita. You are a thoughtless avatar of callousness, sent to earth to do the gender binary's work here on earth. I hate every fiber of your being. Does it occur to you that your indefensible homophobia has kept Asher and J.C. apart, when they have a history your tiny human mind can't even begin to comprehend? And that you just allowed J.C. the intimacy of feeding off Micah the stunt cock who is a relative newcomer to this whole complex group dynamic, while making Asher watch? You are a failure of a human being. You need to be sent back to the factory and refurbished. Failing that, you would do more good if you were dismantled for parts. You are goddamn lucky all Asher did was tell you to soak your head.
Anita decides to go get Damian. Bobby Lee, Micah, and J.C. follow along.
Who gives a fuck about Damian again? Oh right, absolutely no one.